Friday, November 22, 2019
The Eye on Azeroth


Bronze Dragonflight warns of potential “Quantum Coalescence Event”

in Meta, Server News - October 4 - 7:22 AM Tags: ,

By Thereza

The Caverns of Time, home to the Bronze Dragonflight

In a sudden press conference held today, temporal agents of the Bronze Dragonflight spoke of “Quantum Coalescence Events” taking place in alternate timelines, and warned of possible impending events within our native timeline. Temporal Investigator Chronormu told reporters,“This is not a cause for critical concern, but it will nevertheless be appropriate to have shown proper consideration for potentialities which may emerge.”

Elaborating on the event to take place, Chronormu has said, “Other timelines are going to experience a coalescence of their meta-internal quantum variances – it should go by relatively smoothly and without any undue harm to their occupants. This timeline is not undergoing such a coalescence for now. If this should happen in the future, it will result in less quantum variation and increased spatial and temporal stability.” Experts do not consider this to imply any substantial risk to the stability of our timeline, nor to the alternatives.

Kirin Tor agent Kaivax Jordan explains, “This relates to same metaphysical properties of the Renegade Time Traveler fiasco which would have caused destruction in our timeline were it not for intervention. There exist alternate realities, each with various possible futures and quantum-variable versions of events. What the Brood of Nozdormu describes is simply a reduction in the number of possibilities for each alternate reality. I should emphasize that it is not a destruction of any alternate timelines – but a simplification of many of them in regard to their own meta-internal variances.” Again, it has been emphasized that this coalescence is not expected to affect our native timeline at this time, but as agent Jordan says,“that does not preclude our reality from being destined to experience such an event.”

Noted Dimensional Engineer Zap Farflinger

Zap Farflinger, an engineer practicing in Everlook, explained to the Gazette, “Ya know dis kinda thing ain’t a big problem – it’s normal in reality. Well, dat’s a poor choice of words – it’s normal in meta-reality. When a talented an’ esteemed engineer such as yours truly here uses a Dimensional Ripper, a perfectly safe an’ fail-proof means of travel I should clarify, dey use a well-crafted shaped charge ta blast a small, manageable, not-at-all-hazardous hole within da fabric of reality – er, meta-reality.” Farflinger explained the risks bridging dimensions, “Sure dere might be some slight risks, swappin’ places wid an evil dimensional doppleganga’, self-immolation, polymorphic transmogrification – STANDARD on the job risks of Goblin Engineerin’. But nuffin’ like destroying all of a reality or somefin’ like dat – perfectly safe.”

When asked about any precautions to take if a quantum coalescence event takes place in our timeline, Farflinger told us, “Yeah just don’t go killin’ yer twin – even if ya tink dere evil. Cuz if ya do dat it may turn out dat you were da evil one. Just, uh, wait ta merge wid em or whatevah. Oh an remembah ta stop, drop, an roll if ya catch on fire.”